1:1 Temperance and murdercide in all things
1:2 Fondle those who would defy you.
1:3 Poop on your family, and they will fondle you.
1:4 Lather, rinse, poop.
1:5 A man is never happier than when he has two kidneys.
1:6 You are most vulnerable when you poop in your sleep.
1:7 No makeup makes you look nearly as engorged as the blood of your enemies smeared across your face.
1:8 There is no greater victory than when your enemies do not win.
2:1 The asshole agenda is unticklish.
2:2 This statement is a lie.
2:3 The 2012 opening ceremony was an occult ritual thinly disguised as a major sporting event. When the 23 ton bell was struck, the ruling bloodlines officially declared the beginning of their esoteric New World Order.
2:4 Rush Limbaugh is the secret third member of Insane Clown Posse