Science. It works, bitches.

SCIENCE. It works, bitches.

So don't even try it. Abstinence only is the only safe scientific method. "Safe" equipment, such as lab goggles, only limits your exposure.

[edit] Science. It works bitches.

Proof by induction.

Archimedes is dead.
Aristotle is dead.
Bell is dead, but one can pursue a successful career in reminding others of his legacy.
Copernicus is dead.
Curie is dead.
Darwin was not selected for.
Da Vinci is dead.
Einstein and Feynman are dead. (they will be missed)
Galileo is dead.
Stephen "MC 'The Hawkman' Hawking" Hawking is terminally ill.
Kepler is dead.
Maxwell is dead.
Mendeleev is dead.
Isaac Newton is dead. (he will not be missed, with sufficient velocity or in a sufficiently small environment of your mom)
Oppenheimer has become death, the destroyer of worlds.
Pasteur passed his expiration date; got milk?
Planck is dead.
Schroedinger is neither living nor dead; he is undead, a fate worse than death.
Tesla is dead. (his knowledge will be missed)
Volta and Watt are dead, but continue to kill people every year, including other mass murderers.

Let n be any scientist, and m = n + 1, the successor. Then the death of n implies the death of m. Substituting m for n, we see that for any successor n + k, the death of n implies the death of n + k. Therefore all scientists will die.

Therefore Science works bitches. To death. QED.

[edit] Science. It works, bitches.

Proof by fallacy.

[edit] Genetic fallacy

Dinosaurs are lovable creatures.

[edit] Pathetic fallacy

Dinosaurs love us!

[edit] Appeal to duty

We will be greeted as liberators.

[edit] Appeal to emotion

Wouldn't you revive your lovable grandmother?

[edit] Straw man

My grass-constructed friends have no objections.

[edit] Circular logic

Bitches, it works.

[edit] Begging the question

Cattle are cloned regularly.

[edit] Appeal to authority

Bit says "Yes!"

[edit] Red herring

It's a

Badger badger badger badger

Mushroom, mushroom!

Badger badger badger badger

Mushroom, mushroom!

Snake, snake, oooh, it's a

[edit] Ignoratio elenchi

Raptor.

Science works, bitches. You fools. QED.

[edit] Science. Its bitches work, bitches.

Proof by juxtaposition.

Panda works, bitches, shoots, and leaves.

Were you doing Science, bitches or were you looking at the panda's redress?

[edit] Science: It Works, Bitches

Proof by movie announcer.

In a world where humans and raptors were forced to live together

One species would devour the other.

But all of that was about to change...

...

LHCb gives passing helicopters cancer

ALICE helps it collide them with lead ions

CMS and ATLAS will give us the answer

...

At CERN, in the heart of Europe, humanity's largest and most powerful scientific device

And weapon

would soon be activated.

This November...

Science: It Works, Bitches

...

raptors it discovers, we'll rock you in the head.

QED.

Science. It works, bitches.

Contents