Science. It works, bitches.

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SCIENCE. It works, bitches.

So don't even try it. Abstinence only is the only safe scientific method. "Safe" equipment, such as lab goggles, only limits your exposure.

Contents

[edit] Science. It works bitches.

Proof by induction.

Let n be any scientist, and m = n + 1, the successor. Then the death of n implies the death of m. Substituting m for n, we see that for any successor n + k, the death of n implies the death of n + k. Therefore all scientists will die.

Therefore Science works bitches. To death. QED.

[edit] Science. It works, bitches.

Proof by fallacy.

[edit] Genetic fallacy

Dinosaurs are lovable creatures.

[edit] Pathetic fallacy

Dinosaurs love us!

[edit] Appeal to duty

We will be greeted as liberators.

[edit] Appeal to emotion

Wouldn't you revive your lovable grandmother?

[edit] Straw man

My grass-constructed friends have no objections.

[edit] Circular logic

Bitches, it works.

[edit] Begging the question

Cattle are cloned regularly.

[edit] Appeal to authority

Bit says "Yes!"

[edit] Red herring

It's a

Badger badger badger badger
Badger badger badger badger
Badger badger badger badger

Mushroom, mushroom!

Badger badger badger badger
Badger badger badger badger
Badger badger badger badger

Mushroom, mushroom!

Snake, snake, oooh, it's a

[edit] Ignoratio elenchi

Raptor.

Science works, bitches. You fools. QED.

[edit] Science. Its bitches work, bitches.

Proof by juxtaposition.

Panda works, bitches, shoots, and leaves.

Were you doing Science, bitches or were you looking at the panda's redress?

[edit] Science: It Works, Bitches

Proof by movie announcer.

In a world where humans and raptors were forced to live together
One species would devour the other.
But all of that was about to change...
...
LHCb gives passing helicopters cancer
ALICE helps it collide them with lead ions
CMS and ATLAS will give us the answer
...
At CERN, in the heart of Europe, humanity's largest and most powerful scientific device
And weapon
would soon be activated.
This November...
Science: It Works, Bitches
...
raptors it discovers, we'll rock you in the head.

QED.